Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Bad day.

Anyway, today. It started out awful. From the moment I woke up, I just felt like "What's the point of getting out of bed?". But I got up anyway, and was riding my bike to school, hating every bitter cold and muscle straining moment of it. Dima's path intersected with mine, (Dima is the exchange student from Russia at my school) so we were trying to converse in german, which is dreadful to hear, I'm sure, because neither of us speak german, and my bike started klinkalinking. I look down, and I'm not on the type of road that should make you klinkalink (aka something bumpy, or with grated lines), so naturally I became concerned. We were so close to the school, though so I kept riding, and then dismounted when we got to the big Hill (the hill which separates students into two types - Bike-walkers, those like me, who don't have the muscle strength to make it up, and most of the other girls too, and Bike-riders, young strong and adventurous lads like Dima and Dominik), and I stopped, and said "By the way I think my bike is broken" (in german), and sho' enough, my back tire is totally flat to the ground.
So, first I had german class, where I did absolutely nothing but read (in english) for an hour and a half. then I had Geo, but they were doing a big test, called a Klausur, and the teacher said I didn't have to do it, so I did nothing but read for an hour and a half. Then I had a free period, so I read, and of course by this time I had finished the book. Then I had Physik, and we were doing a test, and the teacher asked if I wanted to take it, and I said "No thank you" (lol), and he gave me one anyway, as a "souvineer". haha. The kids had to move around so they weren't sitting directly beside anyone, for the test, but there wasn't enough room, and Benedikt was sitting directly beside me, and the teacher said something in german, with my name and with Bene's, and everyone chuckled. And this pissed me off, because I was in a really pissy mood, and I hate not understanding, and I hate it when there are jokes I don't get, and I never know if people are laughing AT me, or what. Bene said it was like, of course he doesn't have to move because it's not like he could get answers off of me anyway. Which is what I figured. It wasn't a big deal, but I just get sick of it.
So then lunch. Normally we have little cards, and the machine will identify us, and tell the person which lunch we have selected (which is good because I never have to talk, except to say thanks). But today it didn't, and I had to choose what I wanted to eat, and I couldn't read the menu, and I wasn't even hungry, and I just wanted to say "I don't care, just give me something and I'll eat it", and Dominik was getting frusterated with me, and saying "Michelle, I can't help you if you don't know what you want." I would have gotten frusterated with me too, if I were him. Somehow I ended up with some sort of pasta, which was lucky.
I was feeling so pointless, why was I even at school, there is no point at all, and being really mopey, so that I was like on the verge of tears all afternoon for no (direct) reason.
And then I went to the office, and asked to call my host mom, because my bike was broke. Dominik went with me for moral support. I asked the secretary "Darf ich zuhause telefonieren, weil mein Fahrrad kaputt ist?" and she's like "Sorry, I didn't understand you" in german, and it's like, am I really so bad, that she can't understand me at all? Is my accent that thick? anyway, so we got it all figured out, and I called, and no one answered. And thank god, because I hate speaking german over the phone, and everyone was watching me, and I felt so awkward.
Then I was supposed to have Spanish, but Dominik had nothing, but he and Tim (a classmate) seemed keen to look at my bike and try to fix it for me. I felt like that would probably be more productive than me sitting in another class doing absolutely nothing, so I went with them.
We walked to tim's house, because he lived the closest. Well I walked my bike, and the boys rode as slowly as they could. It was really cold, and took a long time since I had to walk, and so Tim invited us in for tea. Apparently Tim's mum is an english teacher, so she spoke great english, although I attempted to speak german anyway. We had hot tea, and ate chocolate, and conversed (not me so much - hard to jump into conversations when you can only pick up half of it), and it made me feel much better, because I felt like these boys were looking after me. So then they went and attacked that bike, took off the wheel and then took the tire off the wheel, inflated it, found a hole, told me I need a new "Schlau" or a "Schlag" or something, I can't remember, and then handed me a phone to call my host mum. She answered this time, and I explained my situation, and Dominik gave her directions to Tim's house. She came about 45 minutes later, so we looked at baby pics of Tim and watched some Dragon Ball Z type of show but I couldn't really understand it because it of course was in german. (story of my life)
Anyway, so I'm home now, and my bike is not in one piece. I can take the bus to school, but I might not be able to take one home (I could wait 45 minutes, or walk home in 30, so I always end up walking). Oh well, I haven't got much better to do, I must admit, and walking for half an hour isn't so bad. Except it is rather cold.
Anyway, if it weren't for hot tea and kind german boys, I wouldn't've made it. Not as in I would've died, but I think the pointlessness of not understanding and thus not being able to participate in class that is sinking into me like a poison would have... idk, poisoned me.
But my bike has been taken to "Fahrradland" and we're picking it up tomorrow, and it ought to be better. Anyway, that was my day today.
tschü!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

I finally feel like I'm in Germany.

For all the glamorous appeal of being a foreign exchange student, when it boils down to it, all that means is being separated from everything and everyone you know, and being thrown into a world where you never understand what people are saying, and thusly not being easily able to make friends, and spending most time idle.
However, I mean not to complain. Honestly I can take all that. I do not crumble over mere things like boredom or lack of friends (at hand).
But what I mean to say is, I am finally starting to feel like it isn't so. Last night I went to a party, and I had a lot of fun, and I spoke in german the whole time (with a horribly american accent, and with horrible grammar, but hey...). Not to say that people spoke to me in German. Someone would ask me a question, and I couldn't hear over the blaring music, so I ask them to repeat, and they immediately switch to english, thinking I couldn't understand. It's like "No, it's just you speak fast and I can't hear you... but I do speak german, you know!" When people switch to english so quickily, I never know if I should be offended (because they assume I'm ignorant of the language, when the only problem is I didn't hear) or be grateful (because it english really is easier). I had an entire conversation where I spoke in German and he spoke in English, but that was only because he wanted to practice his English with me, and I refuse to speak in English unless it's something I can't say in German.
I bought "Alice im Wunderland" so that should make for good reading. I also have Twilight and the first Harry Potter in german. I got them because they are not written too complicatedly, and I will always understand what's going on since I've read them in english. Also I'm reading Animorphs in german from the library. And the Lord of the Rings - but in english. Not in german, that'd be way to hard for me. Except Dominik is reading it in english, which i find to be impressive because LOTR is thick reading (well he hasn't started yet because he's so "busy" aka designed pizza web programs and building a 3d replica of his house on google earth and other streber-ish things.)
But really, I can't wait until I can actually READ in german, for real. Before I go home, I'll have to go on a book buying rampage, because it's not like you can find german books in a store at home, and here there are millions. 'course there's always internet purchasing, but then there's also international shipping prices...
I know you guys will be like "Waahh we wanna hear about Austria, waahh!", but honestly there's not a lot to tell. I never really knew the names of all the places I saw, so I can't truly say where I've been. A lot of beautiful old cathedrals, and a frikking huge graveyard that had a bunch of famous people that I generally didn't know, except Beethoven (I mean, except it had Beethoven and I know who beethoven is). Basically I just saw a lot of elegance and extravagance... I was only there for 2 days, remember. The train ride went through the Czech republic, through Prague (is that how it's spelled in english? It's "Prag" in german), anyway so I spent a good 6 or so hours in Czech each way.
That's all for now because I dont feel like writing anymore.